SUCKBLOG

OCTOBER 12, 2005: SO BORING!!!

Well, we've been working on updating the SUCKSITE today. It's so fucking boring fiddling with all this web jazz. You just want it to be up there. You don't want to be futzing around with re-sizing images and all that. Plus I reconfigured something with the FTP whatever and lost access to some stupid password and it won't let me upload files, etc etc. WHO GIVES A FUCK? I should be flying around the world fucking beautiful women and making lots of money. Not worrying about this crap. So yeah, this SUCKBLOG is a new addition. Now that I have streamlined the homepage, I need a new spot to post my evil thoughts. Hence, the SUCKBLOG! Do I have anything to say today? Not really. The SUCKLORD has been working like a madman in the SUCKHOLE making all these new SUCKTOYS and shit. Getting them out there. We Did one of those CIRCUS PUNKS Last month. That was cool. Went to that dope SNEAKERPIMPS show at Avalon. Good party. PUBLIC ENEMY was great! NOW I'm working on a MUNNY for the KIDROBOT show next month. My art shit is poppin off. My personal life sux rite now. I'm obsessed with a girl that lives 3000 miles away. And she hates me. I'm not getting any love locally. I like this other chick here in NYC, but I haven't really had the chance to sweat it too hard. I'm way too fuckin busy making toys to chase girls. What the fuck? Is this living?

OCTOBER 15, 2005: ASTROLOGICAL BULLSHIT!

Yeah, things have been really wack this week in SUCKLAND. Usually the SUCKLORD is a pretty happy guy. Doing cool stuff. Keeping it on the up and up, Staying fresh. But I swear to god this past week or so has been utterly wack! First off it's been raining like fuck. Plus on top of that I ruined a friendship that meant alot to me. Now the SUCKLORD doesn't have too many friends and doesn't care about most of you most of the time. But when he gets into someone he does it for real. Anyway, due to some poorly timed harsh words meant as a joke, a very meaningful person in the SUCKSPHERE has cut off our favorite anti hero. He actually cried over it!!! What a fag! And the rain kept comming. Then the SUCKLORD went to MIAMI to play some music and hopefully eascape all this lame weather, and it rained there too!!! We got stuck in the venue with all the fuckin equipment, someone stole my tuner and the girls were not down. The SUCKLORD went to pieces, which is rare. A friend remarked that alot of shitty stuff has been happening to alot of people. He said it must be some bad astrological vibes or something. Whatever it is, let's hope this full moon makes it better cuz I'm tired of shit not going my way.

OCTOBER 17, 2005: FUCKIN FINALLY!

I was right about that astrological shit fucking things up for the last two weeks or so. I think the full moon finally broke it. It was fuckin beautiful out today. All sunny and crisp. Nice fall weather. Plus a lot of moves got made. Bought some supplies. Moved some money around. Made some progress on the next round of SUCKFIGS. (Got a new character comming out, think you're going to like him. We are also doing a refresh on all the classics as well. Lots of work. Let's see how BITCH does in the marketplace.) Also today we also spent a little time chilling, enjoying the weather, getting blazed with the CRYSTAL PHAROAH. Had some dinner and drinks in Chinatown. Went back to the SUCKHOLE for some more production. Some new shit is on the table creatively and there are some good parties this week. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I went to the DUMBO arts festival in Brooklyn last nite. It got a little interesting there. Scooped a chick at one of the galleries and brought her to this party and made out with her for like an hour. Got kinda open. Kinda drunk. Was chilling with the LORDS OF THE RHYMES, Q-BEAM and B-DIL, not to mention The GREY PILGRIM at some spot LOW. Haven't really done shit with that click since last summer, but we're talking about doing a reunion show haloween weekend. Should be dope if we can get it together...

OCTOBER 18, 2005: ILLING TUESDAY!

Well, today was pretty interesting for a Tuesday. Spent the light part of the day in the SUCKHOLE making molds for the next production wave of SUCKFIGS. Our man JK5 came thru and we smoked weed and went to TOY TOKYO to hang out. Got some sushi rolls on the go. During the dark part of the day I went to KUSH for the LA FAMIGLA show. These are two Neopolitain rappers from Italy who rhyme in Italian and shit. The SUCKLORD's ancestors (great grand parents) are from Naples, so it's cool to see that going on. Had the pleasure of chilling with the beautiful CAROL.C and KARLA CALDERON, which was fun and stimulating. The amazingly talented JEANIE OLIVER, TARAH REYENOLDS, and IMANI IZURI (sp?) performed with the dancing dagos, which was a real exotic treat. After that We headed to the LAST NIGHT'S PARTY party. You know that party where all the girls take their tits out for the camera? It was pretty cool. I was there alone. What a sweaty flesh box that was. People dancing and shit. Didn't see any actual tits. But they were implied. Probably got more reckless later. Would have stayed but I have a performance tomorrow. Need my beautifying SUCKSLEEP. Who knows? A lot of parties still comming up this week. What's gonna happen?

OCTOBER 20, 2005: A PERFECT NIGHT!

Without going into much detail, last night was perhaps the most perfect, exciting, and glamorous evening that the SUCKLORD has had in a looooong loooong time! It involved playing an amazing show to an amazing audience with amazing friends and a lot of good booze and dancing and looking good. All kinds of flashing lights and beautiful people and being a STAR! It also may have involved a partiular activity that is widely known to greatly increase self esteem and has various other health benefits as well. All in all the perfect night, and it all flowed so easily. I didn't have to do anything. It just happened. Looks like this peak experience is gonna propel the SUCKLORD to new heights of achievement and mayhem! HELL YEAH!!! What was the moon phaze last night? Some fly shit I bet! Fuckin going out again tonight too...

OCTOBER 22, 2005: JUST CHILLIN....

You know after you have an amazing time, like a wild experience, the next few days are kinda bringdowns? Well that's what happened. Went out to the JK5 opening in WIlliamsburg 2 days ago. got drunk and stoned. It was nice, but kinda ehh. I mean the art was cool, nice people, but the scene was kinda tame. Then Friday I went to the PONY PROJECT opening. That was a fun time. Got absolutely sloshed on free Bacardi drinks. Kinda stumblin around. Saw CLAW MONEY and her pony. Nutty chick. Also caught up wirth my old friend ELLEN JONG. You know the girl who takes all those pictures of pee? Yeah, her. She's alot of fun. It was a great party and there were mad cute girls. But I was feeling so satisfied with life that I didn't do anything. I was home in bed by midnite. Then today I did a little freelance job setting up the TEDDY RUXPIN showroom in the toy building. They're bringing him back. That was dull. I don't feel like doing shit. I can only have so much fun. I'm gonna hang out with my friend, eat dinner in chinatown, and smoke pot. It's raining again too...

OCTOBER 23, 2005: NOT BUMMING

So okay. I'm done being depressed again. Seems my moods are directly attached to the weather these days. Maybe because I have this weather dependent project I have been trying to get done for about six weeks now. Soon the weather is gonna turn shit for good. I only have a small window of time left to accomplish this. It also requires the partcipation of another party who has thus far been a bit fickle about the whole thing. Damm it! Anyway fuck that. Last night was chill. Met my pal FRESH KIMMY D for dinner. We went to NEW GREEN BO restaurant for shanghai dumplings and then smoked a bunch of hash. I then went home and read a few chapters of HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE. It's getting really good. Yeah. I was a bit sick of humanity for a minit there. But I'm back into it. This week is gonna be cool, I think. Haloween is comming. Oh yeah, I had a cool dream last night about a somebody who recently became a tragic figure in the SUCKLIFE. I won't bore you with the details, but the SUCKLORD did some fly, elusive shit upon encountering this lost love in the dreamrealm...

OCTOBER 24, 2005: HARRY POTTER

Just a dull day of adminstrative shit for various SUCKPROJECTS and SUCKLIFE tasks. Won't bore you with the details. Big higlight of today was finishing the most recent HARRY POTTER book. Jesus Christ! what a heartbreaker! I bawled my eyes out for like the last 200 pages straight! How does she come up with this sttuff? So Tragic and heroic. It really makes trying to pull off this Villain shtick really hard. These books speak to the most highest aspirations of the human spirit. and dark, so dark. So utterly frighting and grim. It's amazing that kids are reading this stuff. The soaring highs and bitter lows, the sacrifice and valor, the love, the hate, the jealosy, the wonder, the intrigue, the pain , the revelations, the twists. It's all so much to bear. Maybe I'm going faggot on ya'll but just love this shit! It's cold and damp and raining again and I didn't have ANY FUN today. I just smoked pot in my studio waiting for molds to cure and plowed my way thru the last quarter of the book. So what if I got a little misty eyed. (okay I cried like a baby!) It means that I'm alive and not afraid of my feelings! What's wrong with that? What did you do today that was so cool and meaningful?

OCTOBER 28, 2005: SUMMER IS OVER!

No shit asshole! Done been over. The rain has been relentless, but it hasn't been very cold. We were harboring the dwindling faith that once the rain clears up we would get a few more days of nice weather. Well it cleared up and now it's getting cold. My outdoor photo project seems doomed for this year. The last few days have sucked royal shit. I have been locked in the SUCKHOLE making molds in preparation for the next wave of SUCKFIGS. Smoking lots of dope. Weed abuse+ Bad weather= feeling wack. Have to stop that. Last night seemed to break the lame spell. Went to an opening for BILLIONS McMILLIONS at KID ROBOT last nite. Billions dropped this cool money themed project called ONE MILLION. Go look for it. Yeah, saw a bunch of old friends, an old girlfriend (who still rocks, by the way.) And as usual got wasted and talked alot of shit. Beautiful nite overall even though I fell asleep at 11:30 cuz I was so trashed. Tonite is the LORDS OF THE RHYMES party in Brooklyn. Gonna be crazy. Getting my Mordor rap tight. Lots of parties thru Haloween on monday. Stay tuned.

OCTOBER 29, 2005: LORDS OF THE RHYMES

So we did it. After over a year of this project being dead, myself, Q-BEAM and B-DIL, as well as THE GREY PILGERIM decided to bring the act back for a haloween party in brooklyn. I'll tell ya, this is a fun band, but boy is it alot of work! I went out to the loft 2 times during the week to reherse, dragging all my props and costumes and instruments on the train and shit. I have tons of stuff as I do four characters in the show. Here's how the whole thing went down. I went out there early to help pick up the keg, screw in red lightbulbs and hang cobwebs. Then we had to hang up the backdrop and plug in the smoke machine as well as gaff tape all the wires and shit to the floor. Ok, then I had to lay out all my costumes in the back so they were all orderly cuz my first 2 changes are really fast. Ok bet, party starts and I'm rocking the classic SUCKLORD outfit. Cool, cool, drinking but trying not to get too drunk because I don't want to bust my ass in that crazy SAURON costume. Somehow got fucked up in the first 3 hours of the party anyway. And then, POW! Time to play. So I go backstage and here's how it is for me: Gotta put on the SAURON gear cuz he starts the show. That involves srtapping my legs into these big metal carpenter's stilts for an extra 2 feet of height. Then The hoodie goes on, then the big 7 foot cloak over that, then the mesh face mask which hides my features (a shame), then The glowing eyeball gets strapped around my head, hood goes up and I clip in the prosthetic arms and I'm ready. Music starts! Smoke machine fires and I step out from the curtian trying hard to look evil and menacing while at the same time trying not to bust my ass groping around in the dark with all that shit on. I wave my long fake arms around like I'm doing hip hop sorcery and then I'm done. Actual stage time: 45 seconds! Then the triumphant hobbit music comes on, the rappers come out, THEY get the applause and I struggle to get back stage to change into GOLLUM. First I pull all that crap off and I'm down to my underwear. Then I put on the loincloth, the gold chain, and the green stocking goes over my head. I wrap myself in a green cloak and grab a rubber fish. Those guys are out there rapping and then suddenly it's my cue. I go out, people clap for this one, I drop the cloak and start beatboxing into the fish as I flail around on the floor. Then my part's done and I crawl off. Total stage time: 50 seconds. Ok, then I have a whole song to change into the BLACK RIDER. I put on the black jeans, the hoodie, and the face mask again. Then I have 2 red glowsticks taped to black glasses frames that make the eyes. I stand there for a few minutes while the other song ends, then I go on. I slip out and grab the bass. They do their rap and I plod along on the instrument, pretty much fucking up the shitty sound system. The audience is indifferent, I think, but I can't tell cuz I can't see. Song ends. I go off. Total stage time: 3 minutes. Then I go back and I have some time to kill. So I change into THE MOUTH OF SAURON. This really just entails taking off the hoodie, putting on the Motorhead shirt, cape, and spiked collar. Then I stand there like a jerk until my cue for the final rap battle. I put on the helmet and the it's my turn. I run out and the hobbits run off. I do my evil rap and act like I run the shit. Then they come back, we exchange battle rhymes, and then I lose. I skulk off the stage and my part's done. Total stage time: 4 minutes. They do their last song and get all the claps. The show is over. I go back into the party and all the booze is gone. I run down to the bar and have a whiskey shot and a beer. I grab more brew and go back, by now there is more booze from somewhere. I wind up making out with a cute chubby chick who later decides it's a bad idea and she leaves. I keep drinking until about 4:30 AM. I realize that there is nobody left that I want to hang out with so I grab a bed in the other room and spend an hour spinning as the dwindling sounds of the party fill my blissed out head until I fall asleep. A pretty fun night.

OCTOBER 30, 2005: MORE PARTIES

So I wake up at the LORDS OF THE RHYMES loft feeling not too bad considering the amount of liquor I chugged. The place is fucked up. Bottles and cans everywhere not to mention all my costumes and shit all spread out in disarray. I drink coffee with Q-BEAM, chilll for a while, pack up my shit and bounce. I go home and crash for a few hours and I'm back out again. I threw on the SUCKLORD gear and headed out to FUSE gallery for the JUXTAPOZ magazine art show. It's a nice warm night. I get there and I'm too early so I spend a hour wandering around. It never ceases to amaze me how much people feel the SUCKLORD when he's suited up. Mad stares and smiles. I finally get back there and now it's popping. I put the helmet on and go in. I can't see shit. It's dark, I'm short and I can't hear when someone is talking to me. Thing is that it's essential to have the mask on when you make your entrance. Somehow I get to the back of the bar where the gallery is and the light is better. I spend 45 minutes posing and looking cool and mysterious. Then I say fuck it and take off the helmet and start pounding beers. The party is okay, but no real action. Then I get a call from my man AL D. He wants to go to this party way the fuck out in brooklyn at a new private spot called GALAXIE. I wasn't gonna go cuz it's not near any trains, but if my peeps are going, I'm going. So he swings by in a cab with the CRYSTAL PHAROAH, who is rocking this amazing MF DOOM costume. He was really getting into it. We take this huge cab ride out there and the spot is pretty sweet. It's like a converted bowling alley done all 70s style. They had old skool pinball and even an old TAPPER video game. I used to love that shit so I played it for like half an hour. I almost cleared the punk rock bar, but then I ran out of quarters. So we keep hanging out and boozing, but it's kind of a cokey scene and it got lame so we jetted. We were back in a cab planning to go home but then I get a call from my man TONY CHAN with another party in midtown. We zip up there and god, all the bridge and tunnel people on the streets in their stupid costumes was amazingly wack. Fortunatley the place we were at wasn't so bad. My man got me in free, but my friends had to pay 10 bux each to get in. They weren't too happy. Anyway, my man had the whole back packed with drunk asian girls in sexy costumes. Someone put a drink in my hand and I start grinding with whoever is handy. It was great for about half an hour, then girls starting dropping off. The crew that stayed got more and more cliquish as the night progressed and made it clear that the SUCKLORD was just a passing novelty and had no real lasting appeal for this crew. Fine, fuck you. I keep drinking with my friend. My other two buddies were long gone and my energy was flagging. We left the club at 5AM and I walked home. It was amazing that I made it considering that my brain was absolutely steeped in cheap alcohol. One more thing: What is up with bad breath making a comeback? I have been to so many events lately and talked to so many people, both male and female, who's mouths are just kicking! Sometimes from like 3 feet away! You know that crazy salami smell? Yeeesh. I know I'm not perfect, but at least I brush my teeth before I go out and I carry gum and drink water. Some people just obviously don't give a fuck.

OCTOBER 31, 2005: HALOWEEN

Ok, I'm done. Tonight was ok I guess, but I'm kinda over it all. I mean, It's monday night and I'm out getting wasted and chasing ass until 2:30 AM after a whole weekend of doing the same. I need something more than this. I need more meaning and more purpose. Ok, here's how it went down. I rolled out at about 5:30 to meet my Stormtrooper friends form the EMPIRE CITY GARRISON. This is the NYC chapter of the 501st LEGION, that Ill worldwide crew of guys and girls that rock all those fly Imperial costumes at all the STAR WARS events. We met up at DOJO and rolled over to the HALOWEEN PARADE in the west village. I have been going to this shit since 1976 and it just gets crazier every year. This time there was some wild pussy truck in the parade ahead of us with mad sexy girls showing everything to the crowd. There was full on oral sex happening on this float. There I am rolling with the fucking Star Wars crew with my dick in my hand just watching this guy suck like two different sets of tits in like 10 minutes. I need to switch careers. So yeah, the party on 6th ave before the parade starts is bonkers. Lots of dancing and drinking and off the chain costumes. People around here are some imaginative motherfuckers and the costumes I saw today were beyond amazing. I gotta say though, ease up on the iPod costumes for a change, ok? Once the parade started it got a little wack. All disorganized as usual, but still fun. Marched around and danced and bugged out for a good minit or so. I got bored at about 14th street and bounced to my man's party at 6'S AND 8'S in the LES. It was cool, but I must say that's when the costume burnout occured. I have been rocking this particular SUCKLORD outfit since April and I'm sick of it. I wore it at STAR WARS CELEBRATION, I wore it for the month long line up for EPISODE 3, I rocked it for four days at COMICON, and now 3 days of Haloween partying in NYC. I'm done. I'm sick of it. I'm retiring this particular version of the SUCKLORD outfit. I need a new look and I need to stop getting so fucked up all the time. I need a real girlfriend instead of depending on chance hookups with drunk floozies. I need more meaningful work and better gigs. I need more substance in my life. Fuck all this shit. October was a hectic month. I mean I did cool shit. I went to Guatemala, I had wild sex, I got some art made. But shit, there were some lows. It rained like crazy, I lost a good friend to wackness, I abused drugs and alcohol. I'm ready to have November be a month of renewal. I'm ready for some next level shit.

NOVEMBER 1, 2005: ON THE HANGOUT TIP

This dope girl said the coolest thing to me today. She said "hanging out with you is like hanging out with videogames."

NOVEMBER 3, 2005: FUCKIN FINALLY!

If you've been wasting your time reading this blog on any type of regular basis, you may have noticed a reoccuring theme here. That would be my so-called "outdoor project" that was thwarted by bad weather as well as other factors. I had pretty much given up on this getting done. Well guess what? It happened! Oh shit, oh shit! Thank THE FORCE, I can fuckin relax! Yo, for real, I was like really over it. But it's true like I said, November is gonna bring some renewal. It's funny sometimes how shit works. One can get so caught up in little worries and attachments. The small mind can't see how shit is gonna work out, but the infinite wisdom of the universe always finds a way, and it's easier for it to operate in your life if you just let go. Now if I can just save my ruined friendship all the sins of October will be redeemed. Somehow the weather has been beautiful this week. It's fucking November in NEW YORK and it was almost 70 degrees today! The upside of global warming I guess. Anyway, you'll see these new fotos on the site real soon. They are part of the LOWRIDER CUTIES page. This section hasn't been updated since SUCKADELIC.com launched, so it's really fucking exciting. Stay tuned.

NOVEMBER 4, 2005: THE MUNNY SHOW

Yeah, I did a custom MUNNY for KIDROBOT last month. The show was last night. I rolled up to the spot with my friend MARY P. She rode on the back of my bike standing on the pegs. One of the great joys in my life is tooling around on my BMX with a pretty girl on the back. It's a good look. So this party was great. The artwork was amazing. Go to the Kid Robot site to see it. Mine was ok, I guess. I got a bunch of compliments. I don't feel it was my best, and some of the pieces were incredible. What was really cool was that they were selling the blank dolls there and had a whole bunch of worktables set up. There was glue and paint and fabrics and all manner of bric-a-brac available. A whole bunch of people were eagerly working on personalizing their toys. It was like kindergarden. It was really nice to see all that spontaineous creativity all in one place. I had the pleasure of meeting the CUTEST FUCKING GIRL EVER! I sat next to her and watched her do her piece. It was really clever. She made him into a nerd with like big glasses and a combover. I really like creative girls and this one was a real winner. Who knows if I'll ever see her again, but it's a nice memory. I did get a little fucked up though and I'm hungover now. I do want to cut down on that. I also talked to this really beautiful girl who was lamenting about how she was "so single right now." What happend to her? I lost track of that one. I should have worked it. Oh well, they slip through the cracks sometimes, don't they? Anyway, props to Kid Robot for this cool event and dope toy. It really serves to make art accessable and put it in the hands of the people.

NOVEMBER 8, 2005: MIND YA BUSINESS!

Yo! I been reading over some of these blogs that I wrote over the last few weeks or so. Woah, that shit is getting mad personal, yo! I didn't mean to spill it all like that. That was my private life getting aired out for a minnit. What the fuck? This ain't about me, dude. This website is about you buying shit. Strictly business. You're a customer. You don't need to know all about my personal laundry. That's my business. Who the fuck told you to read all that? It's not for you to know, guy. Look, let's get one thing straight here. The SUCKLORD is an EVIL VILLAIN! Got that? Nothing soft about it. All that shit you read before? Gobbage. Stupit Gobbage. All lies. Stop fronting. I don't give a fuck about all y'all! I ain't worried. Stay off my tip, understand? Capiece? From now on this blog is gonna be mad hard. Fuckin Villain shit. What?

NOVEMBER 10, 2005: BLOGGING IS GAY

Well, this sure was fun last month when it was all new and I was spilling my guts and ranting about every stupid detail of my life as if you gave a fuck. Now that this blog is strictly business, I have nothing to say. The SUCKHUSTLE has been about being locked in small rooms for protracted periods making shit for you to buy. We got new SUCKFIGS comming out, including the weird and wack GALACTIC JERKBAG. I hear from my distributor that ANOTHER BITCH is not selling too well because stores are shook by it and don't want to offend their customers. Hah. That's funny, but I gotta eat. Web sales have been decent though. I have laso been working with the CRYSTAL PHAROAH and BILLIONS McMILLIONS on the new BAND OF THE LOST mixtape. Remember when we did that wacky STAR WARS DJ set at the opening of EPISODE 3? No? Well if you did, then you would know that it was off the chain and the mix is finally going to be available. That's huge. Also getting ready to put up some new Ill shit on the website. Gotta size all these images and save em for the web. What a chore. And that's it. No parties, no adventures, no fun. My long lost friend is speaking to me again, as if that was your concern, so maybe shit ain't so wack after all. The moon is getting bigger every day and I can feel something wild is about to happen in the SUCKLIFE. I better finish my work before the SUCKDRAMAS start again. Can't wait.

NOVEMBER 12, 2005: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?

Never drink wine and whiskey together. It all started when I rolled up to KOREATOWN with a dope crew of friends like Q BEAM, BILLIONS, CRYSTAL PHAROAH, CAROL C, and MASHBURN. We went to see some artwork in this nice gallery. The work was decent, sipping wine. But this dude had a weird booth set up in the back and it was a shooting gallery. He had all these bottles set up and a high powered paintball gun. He also had a bottle of JACK DANIELS. Naturally I hit that then started shooting shit. Everybody was getting loaded and licking off shots. Fun! Next thing I know Q Beam and myself were wandering around Koreatown talking to chicks and seeing how many phone numbers we could get. After that we went down to HAPPY ENDING to see the GREY PILGRIM spin records. We had another straight whiskey and then I was dancing with this fuckin hot girl for like an hour. They were giving out these weird alcoholic energy drinks. That's what did it. I had one of those and next thing I realized it was the next morning. Where did everyone go? What happend to the chick? Why don't I have her phone number? Where's my friend? How did I get home? Why did I leave? The phone rings at 10 AM and my friend says his filming on my block. I go down to get coffee and wind up making a cameo appearance on a dating show for gay people. What a life.

NOVEMBER 19, 2005: THIS IS BULLSHIT

So I have concluded that nobody reads this lame blog ever. Even my so called friends are turned off by it. That means I can do 1 of 2 things. I can just blow it off and stop or I can go all out and spill all the dirt cuz nobody is paying attention anyway. I guess I'll take the weak middle road and just keep writing tepid entries about sorry shit. No new news today anyway. The full moon passed and there was this exciting heated moment that I let pass. I figured it would be more fun to let the tension build over a few days rather than act too rashly. I wanted to savor it. Well there ain't no tension here no more pal. Shit has been D-U-L-L. I have been booze and drug free for over a week. I have been in the SUCKHOLE every fuckin day making toys. I made a shit load of them and made my rent. I actually got to pay myself for a change. Who wants me to buy dinner? Sike! Nah. Shit sucks. I have been kinda chilling with some different girls. Mad young ones too. Nuff said. People are boring me lately. Did see HARRY POTTER and the GOBLET of FIRE twice already. Snape rocks! I love the fly way he does his magic. I think he's ultimately going to turn out to be a good guy, even if he is kind of a cocksucker. Ahhh, I'm going to bed. Fuck you.

NOVEMBER 20, 2005: DICKS HANGING FROM THE CEILING

Man is shit not on today. I am not down for nuthin. No parties, no humans, no drugs, NO NOTHIN. I'm am not up for shit. I can barely even get off to this internet porn I am watching. You ever feel like this? I'm not depressed at all. I just don't want to do ANYTHING. Not even ass out and go to sleep. Thank god I'm going on tour next week. I really want to get the fuck out of here. Going-going-going-back-back to cali-cali-cali. Love the girls out there. Speaking of girls, I did have a very lovely date with a MAD YOUNG girl today. How young? Let's just say it's cutting pretty close. You would think I was kind of a perv if I told you her age. I think I may be asking for trouble. Speaking of trouble, I have been hinting to a girl I have been friends with that I may want to be more than friends. Now she knows something is up so I better put up or shut up. I want to do something romantic that's not too corny. I just better act soon or she may think I am a pussy. Timing is everything. In other SUCKLOVE news, my so-called long lost friend and I have been chatting on the regular and guess what? It's fuckin boring. After all the passion and suffering I did after we fell out, I figured our reunion would be dramatic and high flying. Not at all, it's putting me to sleep. She got kinda wack. Well fuck it SUCKLORD, you still are keepin it real. Things flip so fast, so don't even trip. Like even though right now is wack, later is gonna be amazing, followed by more wackness, then more fly shit. I've been alive long enough to figure that out. Remember in high school when you were bumming and you thought that's how it was gonna be forever? Well I just realized that it's not true! Things keep being different, I noticed. One last note: I saw HARRY POTTER twice this weekend. I gotta say CHO CHANG is fucking hot! I loved her in the books and she is so fucking cute in the movie. Can't wait to see more of her in ORDER OF THE PHOENIX in 2007. And she does fuckin magic! I'm in love!

NOVEMBER 25, 2005: THANXGIVING IS STUPID.

So I started the day doing a bunch of chores for my mom. She broke her leg so she just spent the day sitting on the couch giving me orders. The first thing she had me do is stick a knife thru the neck of a rubber chicken and hang it from a noose on the front door next to a Norman Rockwell painting. Don't ask me why. Then she had me clean the bathroom. You know how there are certain parts of your house that never get cleaned, like the floor behind the toilet? Like you can live with it until you suddenly have guests comming over and that's when you realize how absolutely vile it is and it has to be dealt with? Well I spent like an hour scrubbing 25 years of grease off the bathroom tiles near the ceiling and around the toilet until I was gonna barf. Then all the guests started showing up. This was a real rag-tag bunch. It was like a whole crew of old lesbians from my mom's bar hopping days plus another crew of weird inlaws from some wackjob same sex marriage deal. Just for kicks I invited a young Korean exchange student to keep it interesting. I think she got a little freaked out by all the yelling and dissing. This was kind of a weird warped dykey Italian New York comedy fuck up thanksgiving. I think she was a little shook by all the raunchy banter. I whisked her off to my room and just layed out while everyone got drunk and yelled at each other. There was some kind of drama at the end and someone got their head chewed off in some kind of domestic disturbance. Finally it all ended and I jetted out for hot sake and yakitori. Fuck thanksgiving. Japanese food is where it's at.

NOVEMBER 26, 2005: HIT THE ROAD JACKASS!

Well, I'm outta here. November started out really great and got shitty about halfway thru. You ever feel like you are out of step with the universe? Like there was some portal to the future that you were supposed to step thru that was gonna take you to the next level, but for some reason you didn't. Now you have to be all out of wack on a cosmic level until the portal opens up again? That's how the last two weeks have been. It's like all these small little inconveniences have just added up to one big YOU SUCK, GUY. You missed something. Nothing happened properly for almost 2 weeks. But it's about to change cuz I'M FUCKIN OUTTA HERE! I'm GOING on TOUR! Yeah, The SUCKLORD plays BASS in a band called SI*SE. It's kind of a latin electronic type affair. Imagine SADE but with fatter beats and more 'tude. That's about it. I don't talk about it much here on SUCKADELIC.COM cuz it's not a Suckadelic project. It's just something the SUCKLORD does for fun and adventure and sometimes money. we don't even use the SUCKLORD title in this group. MORGROCK is the Bass player name in this incarnation. So yeah. Outta here tonite. Gone for 12 days. Hitting Seattle, Portland, San Fran, LA, San Diego, and a few other small cities in CALI. Can't wait to get out there and leave this dreary scene behind. When we get back I expect the WHEEL OF KARMA to have righted itself again so I can get back to being the dope SUCKLORD you all know and fear. The girls out there are hot, what's gonna happen? Who knows? Gonna try to keep this stupid BLOG going the best I can while on the road, so check back. So until next time, EXCELSIOR, LOSERS!

NOVEMBER 29, 2005: SLEEPING IN SEATTLE

"Stop acting so delicate. Be a man, dammit!" That's what the baggage handler said as we were loading up our equipment at the Seattle airport. I guess we were acting like a bunch of weak babies and he was trying to motivate us. I decided that that would be a pretty good motto for this tour. I have been getting really soft lately just sitting at my computer scrating my balls. So yeah. SiSe is in Seattle with nothing to do. We flew in 2 days early to aviod the holiday airfare, so we had some time to sit around the hotel doing shit. I said fuck it, time to be a man so I hit the fitness center and worked out like a mother fucker. Then we watched FANTASTIC 4. Didn't hate it as much as I thought I would. The story was total bullshit. Not at all true to the comic. DR. DOOM was a joke, but the Thing was pretty right on. It was ok. Then we ate thai food. A coulple of teenagers were trying to flirt with me at the 7-11 but I decided to stay out of trouble. Bad decision. I was bored and went to bed. Oh yeah I smoked weed too. I guess I'm back on it. If I can just regulate it and not smoke so obseessively I may be ok. I just realized why for the last two weeks I felt so out of sorts with the universe. yup. I was sober for those whole 2 weeks. No wonder they sucked. Yeah. Got high yesterday and spent like 2 hours alone in the pool acting like a weirdo. Got all spirtutal. Vibing out in the water. Hope I wasn't spotted. Yeah my boy Q-BEAM from the LORDS OF THE RHYMES is on board as tour manager. That should be fun. He's a good wingman. Even though he got me involved with this girl right now that I really should be uninvolved with. So the show is tonight and this is where the trouble really starts. Don't be so delicate SUCKLORD. do some damage and get physical. Its true if you dont use it you loose it.

NOVEMBER 30, 2005: CHOP SUEY

So finally after 2 days of sucking shit and sleeping all day in this lousy motel we finally got to play the show today at a club called CHOP SUEY. Got to rock my new suede black and purple NIKES with the black gangster jacket, purple shirt, and my custom made rock and roll pants. Made the mistake of eating a spicy cow tounge taco before the show which fucked up my mouth and my stomach. It didn't matter cuz there were no cute girls at all at this venue. It was a rainy monday night in Seattle and the crowd was a little thin. The people were nice and all but pretty dull. No freaks or groupies. Kinda wasted my purple shrit. didn't want to sweat it up so early in the tour cuz I want to wear it again. Well no reports of any kind I'm afraid. The money sucked and nothing crazy happed.Conclusion: Seattle sucks. Off to portland now and hopefully some better adventures will start or else this tour is a bust. I'm not even sure if I want to be in this band sometimes.

DECEMBER 1, 2005: PORTLAND IS FOR LOSERS

So Seattle was a royal piece of shit and we couldn't wait to get out of there. Everyone was excited to go to Portland and erase the wackness that was the city of Seattle Washington. So we were bailing down I-5 trying to escape that shit bag town and the snow and sleet were relentless. It was so cold and wet and rainy and froze we were like "why did we leave NY?" Finally after 3 hours of that we crossed the state line into Oregon and all of a sudden it was sunny and green. It really seemed like we had turned the corner. Portland seemed to have a whole different vibe and we were hopeful that it would be a better time. I even thought I may get laid. Guess what? WRONG! Nobody came to the show! It was fuckin empty. We wound up playing to about 20 people. We earned zero dollars. The promoter must have fucked up cuz it was dead. Why Am I doing this? This is a waste of precious SUCKTIME. Fuck this. It's a total waste. The pacific northwest blows a gigiantic dick. Here is a little piece of SUCKTRIVIA: the SUCKLORD lived in Eugene, Oregon for 6 years. a nite like this reminds me why I moved back to New York. Cali has to be better cuz this tour is shit on a dick with a side of greasy testicles. FUCK WASHINGTON FUCK OREGON you ALL SUCK. FUCK YOU! I gotta get out of here. It's cold and lame and eats cock for a living. I don't have the words to express how utterly wack this tour has been so far. FUCK SHIT SUCK!!!!

DECEMBER 2, 2005: VAN TRIP

Ok so P-Town sucked too. We all jumped in the van for a 12 hour drive to San Francisco. Imagine 7 people crammed in a van for 12 hours smelling like burps and farts and feet and junk food and weed smoke. It was snowing like crazy in the mountains and it was really kind scary. Q-BEAM held the wheel for the whole trip. What a man. This could have been really boring. Thing is we have a cool van with 2 X-boxes and a dvd player. We watched Napoleon Dynamite and Family guy. Finally got to SF at 11 pm. We are staying in the MIYAKO HOTEL in Tokyo town. Dopest hotel ever. All the rooms are done up in bamboo and rice paper. The showers are like rooms all to themselves with 5 plus showerheads. Sean Paul was here too. There is mad sushi all over this neighborhood. We have a lot of fans in San Fran. Now the tour really begins.

DECEMBER 3, 2005: SAN FRANCISCO FALL OFF

Well that's it. Played the first proper show of the tour at the INDEPENDENT. Full house, got the props, great audience. I notice we always get a lot of open lesbians when we play here. Quite a few girl-girl couples feeling each other up in the front. Don't mind that. Gotta say, I guess I still haven't mastered the whole groupie thing yet. There were mad prospects in the audience but I still haven't learned to play it right. You really have to guage the level of your band fame to know how much you need to reach out. Like a band like Metallica obivously has to beat them off with a stick cuz they are all trying to get backsatge. they don't have to do shit. At our level you gotta work a bit. But then again not too much. You can't chase it too hard or all your stage juice will dissapate. I guess I played it too aloof. You obviously can't just go out there all desperate like "hey I was in the band, wanna fuck me?" But if you act too aloof then they think you dont really want to meet them. After the show I went backstage for like 7 minits and when I came out the crowd was gone. I guess I should have acted sooner. Love and learn. Would have been nice to get a hottie in that dope shower. What a waste. *Sigh*. Ok LA here we come.

DECEMBER 4, 2005: SHE DIDN'T COME

She lives only an hour away, but she didn't come. The hotel was beautiful and japanese and just her style. She would have loved it there but she didn't come. We left SF this morning and took the road south towards LA. We were passing by her hometown, but I didnt see her. For an hour the signs announcing her town approached until I could see her city out the window. I didn't feel her. Was she there? Then the road split. The left fork lead to her and the right fork went further on to LA. We took that road and she receeded farther and farther away. Goodbye my love, maybe there will be another time. But not today. Now we are in LA about to do a tv show. I don't care.

DECEMBER 5, 2005: NO ONE WALKS IN LA

So we had the day off today in LA. Cool, but its a bitch for me. Know why? here's a little embarrssing factoid about the SUCKLORD. He doesn't drive! No licence and no abilty. Don't laff. Its very common for people raised in NYC to never get a driver's licence. No problem at home, but here in LA I'm like a fuckin newborn baby, all helpless and shit. Did some walking around Melrose with the CRYSTAL PHAROAH (he's in the band too) cuz it was close to the hotel. Looked in a bunch of hipster stores. Why are people out here jocking NY so hard? Oh yeah, cuz we rule. Later on my man TONY CHAN aka ASIAN HEAT scooped us up and drove us to a bunch of parties. They were ok until we got to this shi-shi Asian party in a place called the LOBBY. God the girls were so fuckin hot and they were getting all freaky on the dance floor. I was standing on the second level looking down at all of them, nursing my 12 dollar drink and feeling sorry for my self, wondering why am I such a loser and how come I never get fine chicks boo hoo when my man suddenly taps me on the arm and sticks this girl in my face. She immediatley sticks her tounge in my mouth and starts making out with me. She was way cute, her breath didn't stink and she knew how to kiss. Yeah! so I spend the next 40 mins dancing with her and groping her and having my way. It was great. It's amazing how fast fortunes can switch. Not 2 minits ago I was wishing I was doing this and despairing that I wouldn't be and then suddenly bam! It came true. Tony Chan rules! It finally came time to step it up so I took her upstairs to a private booth and starting gettin more deep into it. I was getting really heated and she was all moaning and squirming when suddenly a big dickhead security guard flashes a light in my face and says that they are closed and get the fuck out. Needless to say I was a bit slow to react and he got really aggressive and made us leave. Now all the lights were on and I was not sure what to do next. Thing is with drunk sluts is that I love them but they are kinda easy come easy go. We got downstarirs, she was sobering up and her friends started cockblocking. They took her and some big dude was like keeping her away from me. I wasn't sure what to do and my man had the car so I just let it go. I really wanted to tap that but it just seemed a little fishy and I didn't want to be that desperate guy clinging on so I jetted. But I got my swagger back, I think. That weird phenomenon when you get one chick and then others smell it on you and suddenly show interest. Another fine one was geting real friendly and all please come to my party on New Years. So finally this tour seems to be going on the upswing. Let's see what happens next. I just read a great hororscope that said that Mercury and Mars have been in retograde for the last 10 weeks and now they are reversing and going foward. YEHHHH-ha. I notice that has coinsided with a lot of things going wackly. In fact I started this blog 10 weeks ago and my so-called ruined friendship that has been a re-occuring theme here was ruined at about that same time. Who knows how things are gonna change. Pretty exciting. We are off to san diego today for another show. Love that town. Lets see whats up.

DECEMBER 6, 2005: SAN DIEGO FADE OUT

So I woke up in the Beverly Laurel Hotel really bumming out that I didn't fuck that girl from last night, but whatever. We dipped down to SD and checked into the hotel as usual. Nothing special. It was such a typical day I can barely remember even tho it was yesterday. So we went to the venue, the CASBAH, nice little seedy rock club and played the show. It was good. Got wasted after and chased ass. There were some decent ones, but alot of cockblocking by jealous male friends killed it. Then we went back to the room and smoked a huge hash joint and then it came out that apparently I had fucked up on satge. Yeah, I hit a few bum notes but I guess it was my turn to get roasted. I have been dishing out so much shit on this tour and breaking so much balls that I guess I'm fair game. It's okay, I can dish it out and I can take it. So I stood accused of putting too much effort into being a rockstar and trying to look cool at the expense of the music. I guess I made some stupid mistakes cuz I was too busy acting like a ham and trying to make eye contact with chicks in the crowd. So everybody in the group was busting my balls. It didn't bother me too much cuz I guess it's true. I would rather know the truth, as wack as it is and try to do better than go on looking like a sucker. So I took it, but the funny thing is that you know when you are stoned, no matter what you may be thinking or feeling, you always have that patheic piece of shit look on your face from being high. Like that soft wimpy helpless please punch me face look that makes you come across like a sorry pussy. Anyway that was how I looked. I wanted to seem like a could take it but I must have really looked like a dipshit. Who cares? Now we are in San Luis Obispo and I hate this stupid hippy dippy town. We played here 3 times before and nothing happened here ever! I don't expect that to change tomorrow. We'll see.

DECEMBER 7, 2005: SLO TOWN SPACE CASE

A great show here in San Luis Obispo Cali. I hate this town but last night it came thru. The show was the best pure performance experience we've had the whole tour so far. We played well and the sound was good and the audience was so appreciative and engaged that it just made it fun. We all got fucked up and of course I spent a bunch of time chasing tail. I did get to autograph a fine girl's ass but other than that no play again. We went back to the hotel and once again a bunch of people ganged up on me and accused me of wanting sex too bad and putting too much pressure on myself to get butt. Point taken. I guess I have been a little desperate and over anxious and shit like that will fuck up your game. I can't just measure the success of a show by how laid I get or else they would almost all be failures. I can't help it. I am kind of a sex freak. I love women and when I don't get to be with them in the way that I want to, I get fuckin cranky. What can I do? I'm sick with it and I really don't want to be cured. I like the adventures. Anyway we returned to the hotel and we smoked this hash and the weirdest thing happend. I couldn't stop laffing for like 20 minutes. There wasn't even anything funny. I was just giggling like some novice who was getting high for the first time instead of a 20 year veteran. I had some trancendental realization that the universe was all good and I was ok and I got really high on that idea and I just felt really peaced out and blissful like one of those laffing buddahs or those gurus that just sit on a mountain and laff their asses off cuz they are on some high spirtual trip. It was a great release. This has been a fun tour despite the slow start and several dull points. 2 shows to go and the big LA jam is at the end. Outtah here to Santa Ana. New city. No expectations.

DECEMBER 8, 2005: SANTA ANA WHERE?

Another decent show with a nice crowd in a cool theater, but so what? It was fun, but still kinda status quo. Today is the last show in LA. The tour is ending and I still haven't had the pure Rock-and-Roll experience. It's been ok but we have been a bunch of mellow weedheaded fags this time around. Tonight better be dope or I am quitting this business. Sure I had some tounge in LA, smoked some good hash and had a trancendent experience, as well as a fun road trip with friends, but we never brought no girls to the hotel and that's what this is about. I decided that everyone in this band is cool and I have new respect for some of them. Q-BEAM was amazing. Every one was cool and I learned something from them, but I am going to follow my own council and be who I want to be, damm what people think.

DECEMBER 9, 2005: KEY CLUB LA

Ok the last show was last night at KEY CLUB on the SUNSET STRIP. Wow! what a scene. Such LA history on this street. The ROXY was just doors away. This is the spot were CHEECH and CHONG bugged out in UP IN SMOKE. So we Played a blistering set and this was a wild audience. There were a lot of freaks there and it was hard to play cuz so many wacky girls were throwing mad vibes at the SUCKLORD. I am trying to get the whole rockstar thing down. Really trying not to be so insecure and distant with the fans. Or too cocky and overconfident. After the show I did what I shoulda done in SF. I stayed on stage and shook hands and meeted and greeted. I sat at the edge and a couple of girls came over and made out with me. No I didn't get laid. I actually had a date with a little friend/ lover that I know out here. She come thru and I wanted to hang out with her. I was kinda reluctant to fuck around with drunk floozies cuz I didnt want to slut it up too much in front of my friend. I wanted to play a little but I still wanted to be wth her. She looked mad cute to me and she's a cool girl. We all went back to the hotel with her friends and made a little party. Too bad it got a little platonic at the end. We made out and played around but it just didn't quite kindle sexually, but it doesn't matter. It was nice to have a little affection. I realized on this tour that I WORRY WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT GETTIN LAID. Need to just cool it on that. We did autograph a bunch of tits though. And ass. That was amazing. Going back to NYC today. Getting back to work on sucklife. I love LA. I love cali and I can't wait to come back. I didn't want to leave this morning. LA was so warm and beautiful and it just confirms for me again and again how much I love this town. The people, the weather ,the lifestyle. I really need to get my drivers licence and spend more time there. Man the tour flew by. I coulda kept going. A day off in LA and then on thru to Arizona and New Mexico into Austin. Yeah. Next time. I relly also learned that I am pretty into this band and I want to keep going. I have had some serious doubts about this project and my place in it and if its worth my time. And those eary shows on this tour added to my doubt, But last night changed it all. No I didnt get wild sloppy sex with groupies (but I could Have) This isn't really about me alone. people really like this music and it's a great feeling to give it to them and have them love you so much and to feel you and really give back. It feels good man, and I am addicted to that. I am also addicted to the growing experience it is to be in a group project. It's healthy to hunker down and spend 2 weeks with a tight group with minimal privacy. After a while your shit comes out and you have to confront it and you are doing it in front of people. It's like bing on THE REAL WORLD. It's a rush and it's life and I'm lucky to get to do it. Peace out.

DECEMBER 11, 2005: THE BLOG IS A HIT!

So just in the last few weeks or so I have been hearing a lot of positive feedback about this stupid online journal. I'm addicted to it by now but I was pretty sure no one was reading it. Well I was wrong. People have been comming out of the woodwork to tell me to keep it up. All kinds of people from all these unrelated compartments of my life say that it's fun and entertaining. Apparently my accounts of my love life are the best parts of this blog. Great, the one subject I am trying not to talk about is the most liked. Well I guess I am obligated to my fans to give them what they want. But from now on I am going to stagger the entries so some time passes between when something happens and when I post it. Just to let things settle a bit before I put it out there. Not that there is any point to that. I know I am going to get into trouble over this at some point, so why avoid it? Oh boy....

DECEMBER 16, 2005: DECISIONS

Shit. I'm just in love with too many girls right now. I've been sorta seeing this girl that I have been trying to dump for certain reasons, but she is just so funny and and enjoyable to be around and pretty cute and sexy that I havent been able to do it. Then I have this close friend that I have a secret crush on who seems to be ratcheting up the tension just when we are are about to start a new creative project. I would move on that in a second except we have this developing creative/ business relationship going and I dont want to complictae it. (Plus I could be totally wrong!) Then I went dancing at that weird bulgarian disco on Canal street with this beautiful girl I have been intersted in for a while. God she is so fuckin hot I can't stand it. We shook our asses to Turkish Reggaton for a few hours, getting ill. We were out til 2:30, ending the night over fish congee at NY Noodle town. Then there are a few out of town interests going on MYSPACE and the good ol' text messaging. What the fuck am I gonna do? The SUCKLORD hasn't had a girlfriend in like 2 years almost. Been getting all my love on the run. Maybe it's time to let someone catch me for a change....

DECEMBER 18, 2005: SATURDAY IN CHILLVILLE

...on the run from some stalker chick with a Boba Fett fetish. Kinda creeping me out. Eww... Yeah I can't seem to wake up in the moring. A whole night of cool deep dreams and suddenly its like 1:30. Fuck. I didn't even go to bed that late last nite. Hurried up to Koreatown to meet my little korean friend. She brought her pal and we went to some Ill Spot for lunch. Its cool cuz they were on some "lets blow the whiteboy's mind and show him what korean food is all about" shit. Dope. They just ordered up a bunch of food and I made a total pig of myself. There was barbequed meats and all types of kimchi and this ridiculous cold crab dish with spicy pepper paste. Yo there was so much food. The entrie tabletop was covered in plates. Ther must have been like 40 little dishes of yummy shit on there. Then I bounced downtown and chilled with KIMMY D. Smoked weed and watched SHAUN OF THE DEAD. Pretty funny, never saw that one. It's rare to see a zombie movie with a happy ending. Then I jetted to Williamsburg for some more hanging out. Checked out the new Toy Tokyo store called HI-FIVE in that cool little mall on Bedford. Then I went to a christmas party in my friend GUEN RODRIGUEZ's store called SPECIAL. I knew Guen since 4th grade at PS 41. We were the shortest people in the class. Anyway her store is bonkers. She goes to India and Thailand and buys up all this amazing cool girl stuff and sells it for mad cheap. Ladies, don't hurt youself. Go check this spot out. There is so much cool shit for you in there. I swear to god if you are a woman and you can't find something you like in there then there is something wrong with you. Word. Yeah, blazed up and drank brew. I have been reading this new Hororscope ROCKIE'S HORRORSCOPE from the LA times. Sez that an opposition between jupiter and saturn means today was gonna be a little bit of a bust, so I didn't go out for any wild shit. Just a cool day chilling doing nothing. Just goofing around with the ladies on the text messaging. Getting loaded and pigging out on lumpia. Yes yes yall!

DECEMBER 19, 2005: OFF DAY

I don't know. Now I even feel like my off days are worth documenting. All the postive feedback is going to my head, I guess. Ok so still can't get my ass out of bed in the morning. Being your own boss can have its disadvantages, like cutting too much slack for example. Got up at 11:40 like a dick and went uptown to grab a check. Then to COMPLEAT SCULPTOR for some supplies then down to the SUCKHOLE with a whole hour to work before my dinner date arrives. Didn't do shit. I was so fucking bored I started doing something really depraved alone in my studio. I wish I could tell you what it was cuz its funny, but you would think less of me so forget it. Fortunatley I was interrupted by my date at the door before it went too far. So yeah, forbidden Fruit came over and we did exactly shit. Fucked around in Chinatowm but we didn't have much to talk about. There is kind of a language barrier there. We wound up in the chinatown arcade. I kicked her ass at puzzle fighter then she started getting bored, but I had mad tokens that I wanted to play. You know what game is really cool that I forgot about? SUPER PAC MAN. That's the one where besides the regular power pellets there are the super pellets that make you all big and you can eat thru walls. Got the high score on that. I guess today was okay, the most picturesque moment being me and the little cutie at the arcade making out against the GALAGA machine not caring if everybody was looking...

DECEMBER 24, 2005: COSMIC SYMBOLS

Well after an amazing week of life getting amazing last week, the shit kinda leveled off for a few days this week. All the SUCKFRIENDS bounced outta town and things just really slowed down. The forbidden fruit left for far away lands and all the other girl interests mellowed out. Shit was overall kinda sleepy. Have been spending mad time in bed just sleeping off the days like a vampire. Smoking a lot of pot. Nothing really going on socially. Have been putting time into making new SUCKSTUFF like new toys and music, but no partying. Had to watch some cute thug boy making time with a secret crush of mine. She was into him too. Ouch. One day she'll learn the power of the SUCKLOVE. But not today. Actually was saved from despair by some out of state phone call that turned into hot phone sex. Something cool about staggering home all drunk talking dirty on the cell and having to stop walking to grind your hard dick into a lampost while someone on the other end is using a pocket rocket that you can hear vibrating. Ok, but besides that shit has been kinda static. It's something about Saturn doing something weird with Pluto. Anyway looks like shit is flipping now cuz I got a weird call at 4 AM from a cosmic somebody that always seems to re-appear at auspicious moments. I guess I was right because later that morning someone I'm really down for called for a date in Chinatown. Finally, some action...

DECEMBER 25, 2005: CHRISTMAZZZZZ....

This holiday becomes more and more irrelevant to me every year. It's such a hassle buying stupid presents and waiting on line forever at the post office. I don't believe in Jesus and the whole sentiment of this holiday is so trite and played out to me. The same fuckin songs every year. I'm sick of it. All my fuckin friends are away. This sucks. Plus it's like 50 degrees and raining out. It is the most un-christmas christmas ever. You know what new thing I discovered I hate about the holidays this year? Christmas trees. What a waste. My mom sent me out to buy her a tree so I did it. We are on some Charlie Brown shit so I always pick out the most pathetic tree I can find. I bought this scrawny little thing for 15 dollars and as I'm walking home I started getting really mad. I'm like, this tree is gonna die. We murdered this living thing just to decorate our shitty house for a week. This thing could have grown really big and lived for hundreds of years and produced oxygen and looked beautiful. Instead its dead carcass is gonna be sitting on the sidewalk in 2 weeks waiting to be taken to the dump. It just seemed vain and wasteful to me. Thank god this shit is over. I got 3 presents today. I got a bar of caffeinated soap (?), a bag of japanese army men, and 500 dollars cash, by far the best present. Then I went to the SUCKHOLE and worked on toys for 4 hours. Merry Christmas, dickface.

DECEMBER 30, 2005: THIS YEAR IS OVER

Well the last few days of 2005 have been allright. It was getting a bit sleepy there for a sec, but now things are poppin off a bit more. Went to a signing at the Hi FIVE store in B'Burg. Forgot the artist, but I got sloshed on red wine and chilled with such heavy hitters as JAKUAN, FUTURA and LEV. My man Brian Procell is holding it down in that spot and the SUCKTOYS are moving. Smoked bats with JK5 and discussed that new Darth Vader book which accounts for the events right after EP 3 where Vader starts comming into his own. There is some cool stuff about Tarkin in there too. I also over heard some gossip that one of my rivals in the toy game is falling off. Good news, but so soon? I thought he would have made a more worthy enemy. Oh well. Did a great foto shoot again with MARY P. She is the inspiration for the new SUPERVILLAIN Bootleg. We had her done up in the crazyest costume. It's gonna be hilarious when that one comes out. So I also had my cosmic, long lost friend here in town. Her first visit to NYC. It kinda sucks in a way when you want to turn someone on to this city. Most people have high expectataions about NYC and they should. I took her and her friend out but we didn't have the most slamming time, I was unable to produce an outrageous and awe inspiringly perverse venue in which she could pop her NYC cherry. It was kind of a mellow hang. I felt bad about that. I did the best I could, but as you may know, the nightlife here is not always what it has been in legend. Plus we started going out too early. Fuck you New York, you let me down last nite....