SUCKBLOG summer 07

SEPTEMBER 19, 2007: BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND

I got in some professional trouble with my last entry way back in May. As usual I failed to employ a reasonable amount of self-censorship and said some shit that offended some people that pay me a lot of money and fly me to all the conventions. Not the type to ruin a good thing just on principle, I did the right thing and took it down. It worked out fine in the end and I restored the blog in question with minor editing. but the whole experience left me kind of shaken. I got kind of turned off to blogging for a while, and I let the shit lay dormant for the whole summer. I was considering taking down the whole thing because that wasn't first time I got into an akward situation cuz of the freaking candor of the blog, so I just wanted to leave it alone. Certain people out there, you know who you are, wouldn't let me off the hook about the blog neglect, so I decided to go ahead and bring it back. What the heck? What do I have to lose? I like doing this shit, I'm just gonna be a little more careful from now on.

SEPTEMBER 20, 2007: MY SUMMER VACATION

I let a lot of action go by without reporting, and I'll be dammed if I go and recount every detail of the summer, but I will try to summerize the last few months just to bring this thing up to speed. So what happened? Well the Summer came in hot and sweaty and the first big adventure was a trip to Miami
and the Dominican Republic for a couple of Si*Se shows. Miami was pretty cool, Been there a few times. but this was the first time I actually got a feel for the place and decided I liked it. First thing that happened was that we met SPOONIE G, you know that Old, Old, Old School rapper, "one for the treble, two for the time..." etc? He has apparently just been released from doing 17 years in a Miami prison for some crime or another and we were the first people he ran into on his way back to civilization. He rapped a little and hit us up for money. I got all weird and tried to find some meaning in meeting him at that time cuz I was getting ready to become a rapper myself for the Nerdcore comicon show that was coming up, and like I dick I thought that some of his "rap Karma" might rub off on me and give me some old school mojo for my show, which I was really nervous about. I asked him to put his hand on my head and bless me while I run some rhymes. He did it for like two lines before he touched me for money. I felt stupid and gave him 10 bucks before I sulked away, my ideals shattered. I guess that's the times. Rapping for fun is so old school, even for a cat like that. It's all about money. Anyway, the show was okay, The only thing else I remember was that we stayed in a "Gay Hotel." A hotel run by, and made for, gay guys. It was kind of hilarious, the owner of the hotel was this crazy cuban flamer who cruised the hell out of me the whole time we were there. It was kind of funny, actually. Fags love me.

So after that we dipped out to the DR. Boy was that a trip. The country was kind of run down, and a little lawless. We had a driver with us who was taking us around, to the gig and back. During a trip to the beach, I noticed that he was rolling out with a fucking piece tucked into his pants. Apparently this is normal for civilians to go around with concealed firearms on their person. Fortunatley he didn't have to use it. Other highlights of the trip were fighting of poisonus sea urchins and swarms of yellow jackets at an otherwise beautiful beach, a tree in one of the town squares that had a telephone installed in it, and my one crazy night out where I partid with a bunch of local kids by the side of the highway. It's a weird country of contradictions, the DR. Apparently the bars close at midnight on certain days for saftey reasons, so what do people do? They park their cars on the side of the road and just hang out there drinking into the night and blasting music. So while my friends went up to some cat's apartment to smoke, I launched myself into this huge throng of kids and made some new friends. I was kind of nervous cuz I don't speak spanish and I'm kind of a pussy, but these girls just grabbed me right away out of the crowd and made me hang out with them. They had giant tits, all of them, and they called me "gringo." They embraced me immediateley and taught me how to dance to reggaton. That consits of the guy putting his thumbs up in the air and moving from side to side while the girl twists around in an outrageous manner and rubs her ass on you. I took to this dance right away. One thing about the DR is that pot is really illegal. Like you can get 5 years for a joint. When I tried to introduce some weed smoking into the situation. It got a bit akward and weird and it actually fractured the group I was with. Some people just weren't with it. The guy who had the weed didn't want anyone to know and it just all fell apart. it was fun while it lasted.

So June ended and July cam in with just a bunch of mellow weeks making bootlegs and doing my ORIGINAL VILLAIN movies. My partners were all over the place, so we only got so much done. I got fixated on this Nerdcore show that I was booked to do at Comicon. I got involved in this documentary about Nerd Rap called NERDCORE FOR LIFE largely because of my STAR WARS music, which is all instrumental, but I did talk some shit about rapping in the film (which is yet to be released). The producers of the film had arranged to showcase some of the rappers in this documentary at the Con and the invited me. Not one to pass on a challenge, I agreed to do it, even though I had no songs and haven't rapped in any capcity in over 13 years. I used to do this goofy gag rap when I was in college in Oregon, but when I moved back to New York I was way outclassed by the MCs here, so I gave it up and never rocked a rhyme since 1992. Nevertheless, I felt it was a worthwhile challenge. I spent three weeks working up a 20 minute set so when Comicon came around I was kind of ready. My girly came out with me and that was nice having her there. We ate and partied and shot stuff for Original Villains. I was so fucking nervous about the show, but I held it together. I had my exclusive SURGE figure selling out there and I rocked my classic Boba Fett Boombox routiene. But damm, the con was so fuckin crowed that I could hardly move. That radio is so heavy and I felt played out doing this same shit that I been doing since 1997. Finally some security guard told me to turn the music off. He told me that the convention policy forbids amplified music and always has. I've been doing this for years and never had any trouble. But to be honest, I was relieved. I'm sick of that same old shit and I was glad to be relieved of the burden of doing it YET AGAIN. I retired the radio and didn't pick it up again. I doubt I will ever bring that shit back into action again. The STAR WARS breakbeat thing has finally run its course. On to the new. the Nerdcore show was on at the CAPCOM booth in a giant boxing ring. There were some heavy hitters from the NERDCORE community like YT CRACKER and BEEFY. I had my Vectar costume on plus my evil Backup dancers SPOOKY BOOTY and CRIMSON SUICIDE. I got up there, did my songs, shot a little drama for the Webisodes and it was done. Guess what? It didn't suck. I mean I'm no MF DOOM, but I actually performed passibly. For a white nerdy rookie in a haloween costume I wasn't horrible on the mic. The video of this show is out there on YouTube if you want to look it up. Judge for yourself if you think I can rap.

With that big weight off of my back I proceeded to smoke, drink, party in hot tubs and geek out with Toy Nerds. the con eneded and I was ready to start the next phase of my summer adventures. Girlfriend and I were gonna drive up from San Diego to San francisico where I would meet up with the Si*Se crew for a bunch of west coast shows. We had 3 days free so we decided to drive up the California coast. We rented a PRIUS, you know that hybrid car that AL GORE JR got busted speeding in with a trunk full of drugs? Man that thing rocked. It was so fucking quiet and efficent. There were times we couldn't tell if the thing was even on. It didn't have an ignition key, just this weird, blocky little hard drive that you stuck in the dash. The car had a big start button like a MAC and a built in computer that told you what kind of milage you were getting at any particular time. It gave a readout about when the car was using gas and when it was switching to electric. It rocked. we drove almost 700 miles up the coast and only used 13 gallons of gas. Can you believe that? Why aren't all cars like that? We busted out a fun but blurry SI*SE tour down the coast. we finished back in San Diego then Came back to NYC and did a show on GOVENER'S ISLAND which I hadn't been to since I was 11. After that I lost myself in several weeks of pot smoke, toy making, and video production. The Cap to the Summer was a crazy Indian wedding in DC.

Wild scene, those Indian Weddings. Never been to one. It was all in this big hotel packed with people in Saris, some really beautiful women. It involved nonstop eating and drinking. The groom rode into the ceremony on a white horse while wearing a pink turban. When he got to the altar he had to give a dollar and a giant coconut. I wonder what that symbolized? Hmmmmm. There were drums and dancing and all kinds of yelling and carrying on. All Indian food all the time. I got so fat. That was really a cool scene. Now the fall looms and things are the same as they ever were, which is not bad. I got my first vinyl toy comming out soon and a slew of movie projects in the works. It's always sad to see the summer go, but September is a great month in New York. I'm keeping it real, and don't worry. I'm gonna keep the blog alive, cuz you demanded it. Allright?