In this installment of the Now World-Famous SUCKBLOG, we continue the tale of The SUPER SUCKLORD as he comes to realize the hard way that it’s real easy to fuck everything up just when you thought it was all working out…
By the beginning of 2013, things were looking good. I was still cruising off of my reality TV fame, and I was cemented as one of the living legends in the Designer Toy world. Money was coming easy and I decided to open up a Store to sell work from and throw events. I had a lot of interesting people around me, we were throwing killer parties, and I was convinced that the world was about to open up to me. I had a development deal in place for a Sucklord TV show! Some company that made programs like WHALE WARS and TRADING SPACES was looking to get into younger, edgier, urban fare, and they contacted me to develop a reality show based on my adventures in the Toy Making World. It was excellent timing. I had been offered a killer deal on a retail space in the EAST BROADWAY MALL in New York Chinatown. This place was perfect for me. It was off the beaten path, it was in an all Chinese mall that was frankly pretty run down and had a boot-leggy vibe about it. It was totally on brand for my image, and it would make a great venue for my imminent TV show. I set up shop right away and started bringing all my friends in. We did an opening a week with guys like KOSBE, HEALEYMADE, and BILLIONS McMILLIONS showing their work. We were eating dumplings all day, getting drunk and rapping in the studio all night and filming a bunch of stuff as prep for the TV Show. Stuff was selling and I was covering all the bills. It was tight, and I was getting sick of making toys for such crap money, but with that big TV deal about to come down the pipe, I figured I could keep things afloat for few months longer.
Then it all went to hell.
Out of nowhere the production company pulled out of the deal. They came to realize that they were crazy to attempt to make a show about some New York weirdo called The Sucklord. So they gave me the boot, and started making shows about Football. The deal at the Mall ended as well. All the Chinese tenants started complaining about me, some white guy, getting special treatment. I suddenly had to start paying real rent on my store, and keeping normal hours. After two Months of that, I was out of business there. I lost my girlfriend. Other friends moved away. I was drinking a lot and getting fat. My star seemed to be fading in the Toy Game as my releases became more expensive but less inspired. Fans turned against me and trashed my on my message board. A whole slew of imitators popped up, creating fresh work for less money. I was starting to smell like a has-been. Then I lost my studio. Both Me and my neighbor, LAMOUR SUPREME, were kicked out and separated. Gentrified out of the hood. The party was over. No one wanted my stuff anymore. As depressed as I was, I refused to quit. I decided to press on and keep doing it, even though I had no plan whatsoever. If I was dead, I thought, then I’ll just be a zombie…
This led me into the next chapter of my career that I call my “Vine Swinging” phase. As my circle got smaller and my money dried up, I found myself literally throwing things against the wall to see if it would stick. I had no long term goals and was working week to week to keep things moving. I would wake up on Monday having no idea how I was gonna get paid that week. I would pull something out of my ass, grind on it all week to get it out and online by Friday, and hopefully sell it out and pay some bills. It was really a lot like swinging from one vine to another, without really knowing where I was actually going. Things were fine, as long as the next vine was there. The SUCKPANELS were a product of this time. They were fast and easy and I could make a lot of them. I had to. I moved to a new studio, which was bigger and better than the old one, but waaaay more expensive. There was no room to fuck up. I managed a few upgrades to my business; a new website, and new projects were coming out all the time. But I was slowly going broke. From the outside it looked like I was back, brand new, and winning again. But inside, everything was rotting. There I was, swinging from vine to vine, making it look like that was exactly what I was supposed to be doing, even though fear was creeping up on me fast! Then during the Summer of 2015, the vines started getting farther apart. I had to reach further to grab the next one, and they didn’t carry me as far as they did before. I was losing momentum. Then one day I reached out, and there was no vine to grab.
Let’s keep milking the metaphors: Nothing was sticking to the wall, the zombie had finally rotted to the point that it’s legs fell off, and the vine I was hanging on stopped swinging. I was losing my grip, slipping towards the Jungle floor below, and certain death. Rents went unpaid, debts piled up, promises were broken, and everything was looking bleak. Days stretched into weeks and then months. Nothing came to the rescue. It was looking like I had to give up my studio. Part of me was thankful that I wouldn't have to make toys anymore. I contemplated moving back into my Mom's house and starting my life again from scratch. Giving up the burden of having to be The Sucklord was a huge relief. I really needed a rest. I was getting old...
HEY WAIT A MINUTE! If this all happened already, how is it that you are still around? You’re making new stuff all the time and 2016 looks like it’s gonna be a huge year for The Sucklord and Suckadelic. Aren’t you supposed to be laying dead on some metaphorical Jungle floor somewhere? What did you do Sucklord? How did you turn it all around? How did you finally get back on top, and actually go past where you went before? WHAT DID YOU DO, SUCKLORD? WHAT DID YOU DO?????
Well kids, I’ll tell you in the next one, as soon as I figure it out myself. You gotta leave something to the imagination. don't you?